Paper Storms

2011 in Books

2011-12-31T10:00:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I'm really not into all the end-of-year review the news, tabloids and just about everyone with or without anything to say likes to flood us these days. Those tend to be either overly sappy, depressing, pointless or all the above anyway.

One thing I do like to recap at the end of the year is the list of books I read, especially when there have been a lot like these past few years. Not that I'm exactly systematic in this, since I'm not counting books I beta-read or random day-to-day stuff, blogs, magazines and what have you. I guess my one resolution for 2012 is to actually try to use Goodreads more regularly and compile a list of books read right there, so I won't have to rely on my rather tattery brown, polka-dotted notebook and my just recently expired favorite pen to keep track.

Hm. Given that I'm pretty bad at keeping personal deadlines along with New Year's resolutions, we'll see how that one goes. Anyway, without further ado and in no particular order other than more or less the order in which I read them, my books of 2011, the good, the bad, the occasional honoary mention for being an awesome read:

1. Mike Carey - THE DEVIL YOU KNOW (Hm. Have to pick that series up again. Heard it compared to The Dresden Files and though YES!, but really was rather underwhelmed. Currently on my "Give It a Second Chance" pile)

2. Joe Abercrombie - THE HEROES (What can I say? I love the way Joe Abercrombie does epic fantasy. This one read like an epic fantasy version of the German war movie Die Bruecke)

3. Chris Beam - I AM J (really liked this story about a transgender boy, would have liked a bit more character depth, but overall enjoyed it)

4. Holly Black - RED GLOVE (I love this YA series. Can't wait for book three!)

5. Rachel Caine - GHOST TOWN (I really like this series, but it definitely lost a ton of momentum after book 6. Until that point the series was unputdownable, by now I'm already two books behind and will catch up eventually.)

6. Cassandra Clare - CITY OF FALLEN ANGELS (Wasn't so sure about this one, since CITY OF GLASS seemed to have been a really good wrap-up of the trilogy; still, about halfway in, I couldn't put this down, yay for book 5 to release in 2012!)

7. Leah Clifford - A TOUCH MORTAL (I wanted to like this book, but was disappointed how meh I felt about it...)

8. Lisa Desrochers - PERSONAL DEMONS (Ugh, the Department of Obvious stamps this one with an "Are You Kidding Me?" Ugh. Ugh!)

9. Alice Loweecey - FORCE OF HABIT (Okay, so I'm probably biased, because this a friend's book and I think she totally rocks, but I have to admit two things a) I'm not really a mystery reader and b) I absolutely loved how this takes a whole new spin on the genre and can't wait for the sequel in February of 2012!)

10. Erin Morgenstern - THE NIGHT CIRCUS (If I had to pick one book as my favorite of 2012, this one may very well be it! <3)

11. Courtney Alison Moulton - ANGELFIRE (Another one in the "Can't wait for the sequel!" queue!)

12. Hannu Rajaniemi - THE QUANTUM THIEF (One of those books I'm not entirely sure I completely understood, but man, this one's definitely earned its hype.)

13. Veronica Roth - DIVERGENT (I think I read this one in a day straight, because I just couldn't put it down again. Let's hear it for awesome 2011 YA debuts!)

14. Caitlin Kittredge - THE IRON THORN (Made my inner steampunk geek happy. Also yay for awesome character twists!)

15. Lois McMaster Bujold - WARRIOR'S APPRENTICE
16. Lois McMaster Bujold - SHARDS OF HONOR
17. Lois McMaster Bujold - BARRAYAR 18. Lois McMaster Bujold - THE MOUNTAINS OF MOURNING
19. Lois McMaster Bujold - THE VOR GAME
20. Lois McMaster Bujold -THE BORDERS OF INFINITY
21. Lois McMaster Bujold - BROTHERS IN ARMS
22. Lois McMaster Bujold - MIRROR DANCE
23. Lois McMaster Bujold - CETAGANDA
24. Lois McMaster Bujold - ETHAN OF ATHOS
25. Lois McMaster Bujold - KOMARR
26. Lois McMaster Bujold - A CIVIL CAMPAIGN
27. Lois McMaster Bujold - WINTERFAIR GIFTS
28. Lois McMaster Bujold - MEMORY
29. Lois McMaster Bujold - LABYRINTH
30. Lois McMaster Bujold - FALLING FREE
31. Lois McMaster Bujold - DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY
32. Lois McMaster Bujold - CRYOBURN

(A summary line or two fails to encompass the awesomeness of this series. Seriously, how have I NOT read this before? I read all the books cover to cover and I'm super excited to hear she's writing more. This series is full of so much win on plot and character levels and I love that the MC is the total opposite of the strong, handsome hero type -- who uses his brain and his mouth to get himself in and out of trouble. Also, major female character win in this one!)

33. Catherine Fisher - INCARCERON (cross-genre YA steampunk/fantasy with some really fun worldbuilding. Will have to pick up the sequel sometime soon)

34. Abner Senires - CAT AND MOUSE (recommended by the awesome K.A. Stewart - really enjoyed the snark and badassery of those two female MCs.)

35. Elizabeth Bear and Sarah Monette - A COMPANION TO WOLVES

36. Elizabeth Bear and Sarah Monette - THE TEMPERING OF MEN ( Love the mythology and characters in this one, really loved COMPANION TO WOLVES and was happy to see that the sequel didn't disappoint)

37. Elizabeth Bear - SEVEN FOR A SECRET (Elizabeth Bear's steampunk vampire books are totally something that inspired an idea for a steampunk novel of my own that yet needs to see the light of day!)

38. Ben Aaronovitch - RIVERS OF LONDON

39. Ben Aaronovitch - MOON OVER SOHO (Nightingale is my new character crush. "Why are there so many apples?" -- "They have a tendency to explode".)

40. Russell Banks - THE RESERVE (Eh. Thoroughly underwhelmed since there really was nothing new about this book, neither in premise, setting nor characters)

41. E. L. Doctorow - HOMER AND LANGLEY (Okay.)

42. Stephen King - ON WRITING (Every writer should read this. Like, right now!)

43. David Page - BODY TRAUMA (Thanks to David R. Slayton who recommended this to me during Backspace. Fun and comprehensive guide to trauma injuries and ways to treat them. In my writing reference shelf.)

44. Sarah Rees Brennan - THE DEMON'S SURRENDER (Favorite. YA trilogy. Ever. Love love love love!)

45. John Green and David Levithan - WILL GRAYSON, WILL GRAYSON (If I ever am fortunate enough to meet them, I'll probably just do this: <3 Man, I loved the voices in this. Utterly hilarious and full of awesome.)

46. Douglas Hulik - AMONG THIEVES (I haven't been really into epic fantasy this year, but this one was awesome and made the Scott Lynch fan in me happy/withdrawal syndromes less desperate)

47. Hannah Moskowitz - INVINCIBLE SUMMER (Don't read much contemporary YA, but this one just kept me buried and engrossed for a day. Also: sign language! <3)

48. Paolo Bacigalupi - SHIPBREAKER (Really enjoyed this book although the story wasn't all that new, but the world building was phenomenal with bonus points for a through and through non-white cast. Again with the sequels coming out in 2012!)

49. Jeff Somers - THE FINAL EVOLUTION (By now you all should know how much I love the badassery that is Avery Cates. Damian and him could be friends -- if they didn't shoot each other first. Probably my favorite of the whole series.)

50. Kevin Hearne - HOUNDED

51. Kevin Hearne - HEXED

52. Chris Wooding - BLACK LUNG CAPTAIN (not as much of a complete Firefly rip-off this time and even so, I still really enjoy this series and am waiting for more)

53. K. A. Stewart - A SHOT IN THE DARK (Jesse James Dawson ftw! I love how this isn't your typical U.S. urban fantasy and this one has more of Axel in it, too!)

54. Lauren Oliver - DELIRIUM (Awesome.)

55. Mira Grant - FEED

56. Mira Grant - DEADLINE (Man, this series is seriously awesome. The characters. The plot. Oh and lots of zombie gore, but this is the Zombie Apocalypse done in a totally fresh, character-driven way. Absolutely cannot wait for the conclusion to the triology coming out in 2012)

57. Kody Koeplinger - THE DUFF

58. George R. R. Martin - A DANCE WITH DRAGONS (Was really glad I had this one on my Kindle. Massive, massive book and still I read the whole 1200 pages of it in less than a week. Daenerys = <3 and OMGHUGESPOILERICANNOTMENTIONHEREOMG!!!)

59. Jonathan Maberry - PATIENT ZERO (*sigh* I really wanted to like this one after we had such an awesome and ridiculously nerdy conversation in NY, but found myself immensely disappointed with ever-so-awesome-macho MCs and a premise that felt overdone and didn't grip me at all)

60. Maggie Stiefvater - FOREVER (Um, was there ever any plot in this?)

61. Jim Butcher - GHOST STORY (Okay, you all probably know how much I love Jim Butcher's stuff. This series is just so full of win and he actually manages what IMHO very few authors manage: to get better and more complex with each book. This one definitely was well worth the few extra months of waiting!)

62. Kiersten White - SUPERNATURALLY (Made me sad, because I really liked PARANORMALCY, but the sequel felt kind of hastily thrown-together and lacked the originality of its predecessor)

63. Jim Butcher - STORM FRONT
64. Jim Butcher - FOOL MOON
65. Jim Butcher - GRAVE PERIL
66. Jim Butcher - SUMMER KNIGHT
67. Jim Butcher - DEATH MASKS
68/ Jim Butcher - BLOOD RITES
69. Jim Butcher - DEAD BEAT
70. Jim Butcher - PROVEN GUILTY (here ends my epic series re-read, at least for now)

71. Gretchen McNeil - POSSESS (Go, Team Possess! Let's hear it for Teenage Exorcists!)

72. Scott Tracey - WITCH EYES

73. S. A. Meade - STOLEN SUMMER (Okay, so I apparently have a thing for m/m romance, but I love Sue's writing and love how much I get to beta for her <3)

74. Henry James - THE TURN OF THE SCREW (the class discussion about this was much more fun than the drudgery that was this book...)

75. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - DIE LEIDEN DES JUNGEN WERTHER (I had forgotten just how whiny and annoying Werther is...talk about passive characters...)

76. Elizabeth Bear, Emma Bull et. al. - SHADOW UNIT 1
77. Elizabeth Bear, Emma Bull et. al. - SHADOW UNIT 2
78. Elizabeth Bear, Emma Bull et. al. - SHADOW UNIT 3
79. Elizabeth Bear, Emma Bull et. al. - SHADOW UNIT 4
80. Elizabeth Bear, Emma Bull et. al. - SHADOW UNIT 5
81. Elizabeth Bear, Emma Bull et. al. - SHADOW UNIT 6
82. Elizabeth Bear, Emma Bull et. al. - SHADOW UNIT 7
83. Elizabeth Bear, Emma Bull et. al. - SHADOW UNIT 8
84. Elizabeth Bear, Emma Bull et. al. - SHADOW UNIT 9
85. Elizabeth Bear, Emma Bull et. al. - SHADOW UNIT 10 (Aside from Bujold's books, this is totally my new favorite series that I discovered this year -- and it's available for free at shadowunit.org! I'll have to set some time aside and write a post just about this series, what's awesome about it and how it made me push myself into a whole new direction in my writing sometime soon)

86. Seanan McGuire - ROSEMARY AND RUE (Hm. Definitely prefer this author as Mira Grant with zombies instead of changelings)

87. Harry Connolly - CHILD OF FIRE (Jim Butcher recommended this and I'll have to read more of this series very soon, because it's totally badass. :D)

88. Janet Burroway - WRITING FICTION (Remember Homophobic Prof telling me what kind of story she didn't want to see in her writing class? This book has that story she mentioned. Also, really great resource for writers.)

89. Kelly Gay - THE HOUR OF DUST AND ASHES (Lots of love for book three in this UF series)

90. Shakespeare - HAMLET (it's been a while and I actually was quite excited to "get" to read this one for school)

91. Ulrich Plenzdorf - DIE NEUEN LEIDEN DES JUNGEN W. (liked this GDR version of the Wether much better than the original Goethe version. ;))

92. Richard Kadrey - ALOHA FROM HELL (Fun, but not nearly as fun as the first in the series)

93. Manna Francis - MINDFUCK
94. Manna Francis - QUID PRO QUO
95. Manna Francis - GAMES AND PLAYERS
96. Manna Francis - CONTROL
97. Manna Francis - QUIS CUSTODIET
98. Manna Francis - FIRST AGAINST THE WALL
99. Manna Francis - FOR CERTAIN VALUES OF FAMILY (another epic re-read of my favorite LGBT series ever, which also has been quite a bit of an inspiration to my dystopian fantasy. Toreth and Warrick totally take the spot as my favorite LGBT series characters ever)

100. Kendare Blake - ANNA DRESSED IN BLOOD (Really enjoyed this one, but would have liked a little more from the second half of the book)

101. Elizabeth Bear - THE WHITE CITY (I want more of those LGBT steampunk vampire books. More, you hear?)

102. Kate Chopin - THE AWAKENING (I promptly got into loud arguments with some of the conservative idiots in my English class and yes, I totally did recommend this to my mother, who also really enjoyed it)

103. Tahereh Mafi - SHATTER ME (Think of a more YA, more dystopian version of Rogue's story and X-Men and this is what you get. Lots of love for Juliette and Adam! <3)

104. Sarah Monette - THE BONE KEY (Hmmm, I'll stick with her epic fantasy stuff and the things she writes with Elizabeth Bear and for Shadow Unit, thanks.)

105. Dawn Rae Miller - LARKSTORM

106. Jordan Castillo Price - CAMP HELL (Um, why am I reading these books again? I mean, there's some good stuff here, but plot and structure wise it's all over the place...)

107. Cassandra Clare - CLOCKWORK PRINCE (Man, I was so looking forward to this one and while I still enjoyed reading it, I cannot help, but wonder what happened to Clare's usual plot-driven writing, because there really wasn't a lot of that here. Much as I like Jem, I got seriously pissed off when a major conflict involving Will was revealed as nothing but a lie from the get go. This kind of thing makes me do this face >:( )

108. Rebecca Lim - MERCY (Forget wimpy, emo angels -- I'll take the kind that smites!)

109. Leah Bobet - FIVE AUTOPSIES (Shadow Unit) (Holy shit, Madeleine Frost! :O)

110. Laini Taylor - DAUGHTER OF SMOKE AND BONE (In a way this was my favorite YA this year: beautiful writing, awesome imagery and original world building with really intriguing characters -- if the last third or so hadn't been so telling and showed a lot more, this would have me gushing nonstop. As it is, I'm looking forward to the continuation, hoping they won't make the same mistake twice.)

111. Douglas Adams - THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY (How can I call myself a proper nerd and not have read this yet? Yeah, I was wondering the same thing. Anyway, a gaping hole in my nerd record has now been patched and yes, I'm absolutely loving this!)

*deep breath* Anyway, that's my long, long list of books read in 2011. Definitely hit my goal of reading at least 100 books and wow, I read a ton of really, really amazing books. Already looking forward to 2012. And no, I'm not going to pick an absolute favorite, because I'd have to pick at least five or so...

What about you? How many books did you read in 2011? Which was your favorite? Are you going to read just as many or maybe more in 2012?

Monday Builds Up With Massages and Subtext

2011-11-28T11:54:00.000-08:00

It's a gray and dreary Monday here and I thought why not share a scene I'd originally written for a writing portfolio for class, but really it's too fun to leave tucked away in a file on my desktop. Although it actually might make it into an EMPIRE OF LIGHT sequel some day, with a slight change of POV (though Raeyn may stick around as a first-person POV instead).

This scene takes place about six months after the end of EMPIRE OF LIGHT and Raeyn has some things he needs to get out in the open -- and what better to soften Damian up than a lengthy massage beforehand?

Original content by me with some edited quotes from Burroway's Writing Fiction (despite all the nakedness and oil, it was for a writing class after all ;))

Enjoy,
Alex

Build-Up

“There is something I would like to ask you.”

As soon as he said it, Raeyn felt the sudden urge to take it back. Maybe, if he was very lucky, he had overestimated the effects of the last half-hour spent carefully massaging Damian into blissful relaxation and Damian had fallen asleep already.

“Hmm?” No such luck. Damian’s voice was muffled against one arm, but he was unmistakably awake.
“I was wondering,” Raeyn began, but let the sentence trail off along with his hands down Damian’s spine. He briefly considered just dropping it right there. It was either that or cut to the chase, but bluntness would put a premature end to an otherwise perfectly pleasant evening. That or they would argue with splendid eloquence – at least he would – but there would be nothing to decide and therefore no option for anything to change. He trickled more oil down Damian’s lower back and settled for the less dangerous question.

“Are you planning on staying the night?”

He could hear the frown in Damian’s voice. “Um. Yeah?” Then something changed and Raeyn could feel the tension forming between his shoulder blades. “I mean, it’s okay if you don’t want me to. I can go and—“

Raeyn held him down and applied his fingers to the notch of Damian’s collarbone, thumbs stroking circles across oil-slicked skin. “That’s not what I meant.”

“It’s okay. Really.” The stiff set of his shoulders put a lie to his words. “Need to wrap up some stuff before work anyway. If Stern got her way I’d sleep at that fucking office as it is.”

“Hm,” Raeyn said and ran his hands down Damian’s sides. “You do what you have to do, of course.”

He bit back a comment about how he seriously doubted Damian could even find as much as a pen among the detritus of his apartment, let alone get any work accomplished there. That would require a minimum of organization. Beginning with unpacking boxes. Judging from the last time Raeyn had been at his place, Damian had no intention of doing either, especially since it would mean having to sort through the odds and ends that Aris had left behind. Raeyn knew better than to push the issue.

Another subject that remained unspoken between them, slowly building up tension until it would come to the surface and explode.

“It seems like a long time since the Restructuring, doesn’t it?” he asked, abandoning the idea of trying to force conversations with Damian to follow any logical order. “I mean, it’s been months since the re-elections.” And you’ve been practically living here all the time. Raeyn traced a lazy finger along the landscape of pink scars on Damian’s back. Not for the first time he wondered whose hand had put them there. Damian wouldn’t talk about it and for once Raeyn knew to leave well enough alone.

Instead he took a breath, aiming the next question to sound like nothing but an afterthought. “It seems awfully impractical to keep up two places of residence, don’t you think?”

Silence. The twitch of Damian’s hand curling into the pillowcase was all the reaction he got for a moment, before Damian finally turned his head, squinting at the low light. “Wait a minute, are you asking me to move in with you?”

“Yes,” Raeyn said, struggling to keep his voice from skipping. “Yes, I suppose I am. I—“

It didn’t matter, because he seemed to have temporarily lost his power of speech, partly mesmerized by the naked body in his bed, partly from sheer relief that Damian hadn’t gotten up and walked out yet. It took him a moment to recover and find something to do with his hands. In the end he put them on Damian’s hips, applying pressure as he stroked down. At least it gave him something to do to bridge the silence while Damian seemed to think it over.

“There’s no need for an immediate decision. I just wanted to let you know that I put some thought into it and thought it would make things more convenient for both of us.” Raeyn paused for more oil and trailed light kisses down Damian’s back. “Believe it or not, I’ve become quite used to having you here.”

“You mean you’re used to doing all the cooking and picking up after my mess in exchange for having me around for a handy fuck whenever you want me.”

“Well, if you’re putting it that way.” Raeyn brushed his lips against the nape of Damian’s neck and worked his hands down lower.

“Hmm. Yeah, right th—“ Damian froze. “Oh, you bastard.”

“Excuse me?”

“You set me up.” Damian’s shoulders shook with suppressed laughter. “Fuck, you practiced this, didn’t you?”

Raeyn stared down at his hands on Damian’s coppery skin and smiled despite himself. “In front of the mirror. With considerably less stuttering.”

So much for thinking words had to do more than one thing at a time. That rule clearly failed to account for distractions like this. Content to let the matter drop for the time being, he focused on the matter at hand, slowly working his way deeper, rather enjoying the low noises of contentment he elicited with his hands. At least Damian hadn’t said no.

Or at least not yet, because after a while, he turned over, dark eyes intent on Raeyn’s face. “Oh what the hell,” he muttered and just when Raeyn thought he knew what the outcome of this conversation was going to be, he said, “Okay.”

For a moment Raeyn didn’t quite follow him. “Okay?”

Damian paused, then nodded. “Yeah. I mean, why not? Your place is bigger and closer to work. ‘Sides, it isn’t like you’re going to let this go any time soon. Not when you’ve got that look on your face.”

Raeyn kept his face carefully blank. “What look?”

Damian shook his head and dragged him down for a kiss. “That look,” he said against Raeyn’s mouth. “Like you’re really hoping you didn’t just waste all that damn effective build-up. Very fucking clever, by the way.”

“Hm, well, in this case, I could always stop. After all, it isn’t like I would want to pressure you into anything.” Raeyn pulled his hands back, but not before Damian had time to catch them and pull him down on top of him.

“If you stop now, I’ll probably kill you.” Damian grinned. “And if you think I’m moving all my stuff over here by myself, you better fucking think again.”

That sounded dangerously close to a decision. A surprisingly painless one at that. Somehow Raeyn couldn’t shake the feeling that more could have been said, but as it was, he was perfectly content to let nonverbal communication take over the rest of the night. He leaned down and gently bit the crook of Damian’s throat.

“Turn over, Darling.”

Saturday Snark is the worst patient ever.

2011-11-26T07:09:00.001-08:00

Hope everyone has recovered from post-Thanksgiving food-coma by now. :)

Today's Saturday Snark is another snippet from EMPIRE OF LIGHT in which Raeyn has to resort to the basics to get Damian to stay put so he can patch him up. If only it were this easy all the time...

Enjoy!
~Alex

“I said, sit,” Raeyn said. “Didn’t think I had to resort to basic dog training commands with you quite yet, but if that makes it easier for you: stay.”

I glared at him, barely suppressing a growl, but stayed where I was. Even held still when Raeyn pulled up a syringe and shot something into my shoulder that made my entire left side tingle.

“There’s a good boy!”

“Fuck you, Nymeron.”

Check out more snark over on Marie Sexton's blog:

Damian goes Wolverine.

2011-11-20T23:30:00.000-08:00

A while ago I participated in a fun, sort-of-annual mash-up with the fabulous Purgatorians over at Absolute Write. The idea is basically to write a beginning of a scene for someone else to complete later on before merry guessing ensues, to figure out who wrote the beginning or the continuation of said scene.

This year, I used a bit from a now deleted scene that didn't make the cut into this current draft of EMPIRE OF LIGHT and what can I say, I was hilariously amused by the lovely Gretchen McNeil's very nerdy take on my opening.

Enjoy as Damian gets a bit of a growly, clawy make-over into one of my favorite comic book heroes ever here.

~Alex

Something was bleeping right by my left ear. It was one of those ridiculously high-pitched, horribly annoying sounds. An alarm clock from hell. I reached out to swat at it -- anything to make it stop -- but I could barely move. All I managed was a limp twitch; my whole body felt as if it’d been stapled down tightly. With excruciating slowness I turned my head to one side and opened my eyes. My eyelids were stuck together with some crusty, dried goo, but at the second try I managed to crack them open. Bright white light stabbed through my pupils, making me blink like crazy; everything blurred in runny watercolors.

Images came in close-ups. There was a bump in my arm. A giant needle buried deep in my vein, which would be why moving my arm hurt like hell. About half a million wires and cables came out of me, running to way more machines than should’ve fit into the tiny hospital room. Though this wasn’t a hospital. This was—

Fuck!

Adrenaline spiked.

The bleeping got louder, frantic like my breathing as I tried to pull free, ignoring the pain that flared up in my arm. My throat was too raw to let the scream through anyway; what came out was more of a strangled whimper. It didn’t matter. I had to get out of here. Had to—

“He’s waking up,” someone to my right said, vowels sharp like the edge of a scalpel.

I knew that voice.

When he leaned over, the bleeping amplified to a violent screech in sync with my panicked heart rate.

Oh shit. Oh shit!

#

Stryker.

"Stop yer strugglin'," he said in that slow drawl that made my skin crawl. "It'll be over quicker, like."

"Fuck you." My voice was a raspy growl. There was a craggly deepness to it, and the words, though I spoken them a million times before, sounded foreign as if my vocal cords had never phonated before that moment. Had that voice even emanated from my throat? I could have sworn my lips moved but that sound – half animal, half human – couldn't have come from me.

"Come now." I peeled my right eye open and saw a sickly smile spread across Stryker's face. "Is that any way to greet your old friend?"

"We're not friends," I said through clenched teeth.

Stryker glanced at my needle-riddled arm, reached out a smooth, manicured hand and patted me in a friendly way. Searing pain raced up my arm sending shockwaves through my body. My stomach clenched and I could feel the bile racing up my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut as a series of neon flashes blinded me behind closed lids. My entire body was on fire, from my toenails to my hairline.

I prayed I'd black out, but no such luck. After an eternity, the pain eased. Just enough. I lay there panting, exhausted, the sound of Stryker's high-pitched giggle ringing in my ears.

"Save your strength," he said. My eyes were still closed, but I could feel his body lean over and whisper in my ear. "You're going to need it, Logan."

Saturday Snark!

2011-11-19T09:33:00.000-08:00

So, since I've been a bit MIA lately blogging-wise and the lovely S. A. Meade got me interested in a cool feature called Saturday Snark that m/m author Marie Sexton started a while ago, I decided hey, why not join in the fun and share some snark of my own?

This bit is from my dystopian fantasy EMPIRE OF LIGHT in which a trigger-happy hitman teams up with a crazy revolutionary to take down the Empire that killed his friends and kidnapped the guy he loves. There are shootings and explosions, dark, scary magic and yeah, there's quite a bit of snogging and all that as well.

Hope you enjoy this snippet that's kind of out of the middle, but should give you a sense of how these characters tick. :)

“Why the fuck do I have to do all the body-dragging?”

“Because,” Raeyn said, “to put it into your words, we’ve fucked up. No, let me rephrase, you fucked up. And now man up and do your job.”

I wanted to strangle him. Him and his fucking pompous airs who’d gotten the Red to sneak up on him in the first place. And how did he thank me for saving his sorry ass by cutting the guy’s throat before he got the chance to call his buddies? Figures.

“Seriously surprises me that you haven’t stuck a Dumb Muscle label to my forehead yet.”

“You want one? Why didn’t you say so before?”

Teaser Tuesday returns with Shootings and Chances of Explosions

2011-10-11T10:07:00.000-07:00

Going to steal this from my friend Sue Laybourn's blog, because she said it so well: I'm happy to say that the AW Purgatorians have revived the fine tradition of Teaser Tuesday. It's a chance to catch a glimpse of works in progress from a diverse collection of awesome writers.

For those of you who haven't come across it yet, here is the opening of my dystopian fantasy EMPIRE OF LIGHT. Enjoy!

Funny how I always had to be the guy who ended up with a gun to his head.

“I thought you said this was going to be easy,” Aris said somewhere to my right. His voice was thick, the words choked out past the gun shoved underneath his jaw. The two Reds who kept us pinned were all broad shoulders and raw muscle. Built like fucking tanks. The low light of a fading sunset spilling into the empty warehouse made their leather coats gleam like congealing blood.

The run had started out simple enough: get in, dump the cargo – a couple dozen barrels of fuel we’d snatched off a derailed train – and get the hell out. The place had been abandoned for years, just one of the slouching ruins on the outskirts of Low Side. It was the perfect hiding spot to stash away things you didn’t want the Watch to find, while waiting for the highest bidder to jump the gun. A sure-fire way to some quick and easy cash. Standing here with my face mashed against the crumbly brick wall of this dump with the cold steel of a gun barrel against my skull, it looked more like a sure-fire way straight to a windowless cell in the Finger of Light.

“Guess Jay was sugar-coating it just a little bit when she said there might be slight complications.” Someone ratted us out. No way the Watch had just shown up here, far from their usual patrol routes, without any reason. The whole thing’d been a sting from the get go and once I found out who’d set us up—

My fingers twitched for my Colt. My Colt that lay cold and useless about five feet away from me.
“You know, I’d really appreciate a little more leg room here,” I said and squirmed under the Red’s grip. Honestly, by now I probably should’ve memorized some of the regulars’ names or something. To me they looked all the same. Male like female, all fists ready to punch and guns ready to fire; the Empire’s omnipresent watchdogs neatly-wrapped in black uniforms and their trademark red coats. Not like this was the first time either. By now the Watch should really issue us a punch card for frequent visits, maybe something with a rewards program.

“Shut up.” The Red jerked me around and slammed my head into the murky stained-glass window to my right. Point taken, I thought past the distant rushing that filled my ears and the spots that started to slow-dance in front of my vision. I went down hard, twisting away from the Red’s reach, blindly fumbling for my Colt. I’d barely moved before his boot came down on my fingers with a dry crunch. I bit back a grunt that really came out more like a breathless scream.

“Next time it’ll be your head,” the Red - I mentally tagged him as “Captain Crunch” - said, towering above me, gun aimed at my forehead. If he shot me from that angle, there probably wouldn’t be enough of my head left for Aris to scrape out of the wall cracks behind me.

The Red didn’t shoot me. Instead, his free hand went for a pair of handcuffs. “In the name of the Empire of Light, I hereby place you under arrest for—“

“Oh, I don’t think so,” Aris said cheerfully. He’d been standing perfectly still, his head slightly bowed, a model of the “hands above your head and don’t make a move” arrestee. The unthreatening kind. The kind that came quietly and wouldn’t even think about making any trouble for our dear upstanding Officers of the Watch who only did their job.

When he looked up now, absentmindedly brushing away a few errant blond curls that’d slipped out of his loose ponytail, a slow smile curved his lips. It was a dangerous smile, turning positively radiant, until it teetered on the edge of manic as he looked from the guy above me to the one who was holding him.

“In fact, I suggest you two start running, because this is going to get messy in about two seconds.”

...and then you make it even WORSE!

2011-06-14T17:03:00.000-07:00

You know what I really love about a good book? What makes me turn page after page after page and has me stay up until the ungodly hour of, let's say 10am? (I'm on an overnight schedule, so 10am is ungodly for me. Really, stop laughing ;)) - It's that moment when an author manages to utterly fuck with your reader expectation and you literally go: What the FUCK?! On NO, you did NOT! That moment that will have me and my friends go all kinds of WTF?!? NOOOO!!! all over twitter or facebook or startled cats wondering if their bipeds finally lost the last of their marbles.

That, to me personally, is what makes a book unputdownable, what makes your readers going and what to me is the one thing I probably strive the hardest for in my own writing.

And the way to get there? Three questions, really:

1.) What is the worst thing that can possibly happen to your protagonist?
2.) How can you make this even worse?
3.) How can you make this even WORSE?

For those of you who were with me at this year's Backspace Writer's Conference or have been in one of his classes, you probably caught that I'm borrowing this from Donald Maass' fabulous writing workshop, but personally I find that there's a lot of truth to these questions and that questions like this is probably would we should be asking ourselves (and our protagonists) all the time as we plot and outline and write to utterly and undeniably fuck with our characters and our readers' expectations. Because, come on, admit it, it's a whole lot of fun to mess with people's expectations, isn't it?

Also, the book that kept me up like this just this morning was Sarah Rees Brennan's THE DEMON'S SURRENDER, third book and brilliant conclusion to her amazing The Demon's Lexicon trilogy. If you're looking for a YA series that ties in great characters with stunning plot twists in an absolutely unique way that will keep you up 'till the ungodly hours of morning, because you can't put down the book - oh and for plenty of mind-blowing WTF! NO!-moments, check out her books. Check them out now.

Over-awesomed is the word - Backspace 2011: A ramble with pictures.

2011-05-31T18:27:00.000-07:00

Seriously, just got back from the annual Backspace Writers Conference in New York and mentally still don't feel like I'm quite back yet. In German, we have the word "Reizueberflutung", basically meaning that there are all these things crashing into your brain at the same time, setting your head reeling to make sense of them. However, this sounds a bit too negative for my taste, so in lieu of a better word to describe my state of mind after those fantastic six days I spent in the City That Never Sleeps, let's just go with "over-awesomed".

Helen and I taking on NYC - one blue dot at a time.

In retrospect I'm actually quite astounded by two facts (aside from the relief that both me and Helen both made it to NYC in one piece, in Helen's case despite volcano ash clouding up the sky over Ireland - yay!), but not only did we manage to meet up at the airport, we also
a) survived the cab rid to the hotel (which, in crazy NYC traffic isn't a small feat, I tell you) and
b) navigating the boundless, yet awesome insanity of Manhattan, my phone's google maps app only got us lost - really lost - once. If your sense of orientation was as shot as mine, you'd count that as a success as well, trust me.

Anyway, let's talk about the reason we came here: Backspace. And I'm going to bypass the part of the first day that had all of us anxiously clutch our query letters and opening pages, all wide-eyed and nervously-tapping feet under the table, because we're about to read our manuscripts to agents! and the sheer terrifying amazingness of it all.


Networking - and figuring out pesky technology - over lunch

Nope, instead I'm trying to get my head (and notes in order to talk about all the great things I and my fellow Backspacers learned during this fabulous conference.

If there was one thing everyone talked about in regards to getting your work out there and garnering interest, it was probably platform. Be it via a website, facebook or twitter, platform and getting people interested in your work is pretty much the way to go. Sure, it probably is more important for non-fiction authors, but even for us fiction folk it's definitely a way to get our foot in the door - if it's done professionally (which really should be a duh!, honestly).

Meeting with The Night Circus author Erin Morgenstern for dinner

The other fact everyone seemed to talk about is that when querying to seek representation by an agent, the numbers are pretty much against you. Most agents are getting hundreds of queries a week (some 150 to 200 a day) - the bulk of them for material that is either not ready or not even represented by the specific agent, but even if your query is dead-on and really manages to stand out and prompts the agent to request more material, the average agent only takes on about five new clients a year (a lot of them, especially those with established lists, fewer than that). That's a really daunting prospect if you're un-agented and pretty much just querying against the slush-pile. Still, what this means is that in order to succeed, your query really needs to stand out - cue: research your agents, adhere to their submission guidelines and check that they actually represent your genre (all that really should be a no-brainer). In the end it's really all on you to not just write the right query, but also to write the right book, meaning take your time, don't query material that isn't ready. Pay attention to voice and plot and take your own spin on established trends (if you're watching trends).

But all the daunting moments aside, what this conference was really great for was the networking. And not just the networking with agents and editors who were open and accessible for all kinds of questions after workshops and during mixers and cocktail receptions, but just as much as far as networking with great other writers was concerned. Personally, I loved to be able to meet up with tons of new writers (the Science Fiction and Fantasy group turned out to be a super-friendly bunch who mixed very well with people from the Young Adult group) and we got to know each other and our writings, exchange experiences and motivation all over the official conference program and beyond (lunches, dinners and the "let's go find caffeine" breaks work wonders on that one). Since Backspace is all about writers helping writers, that motto definitely was golden as far as Backspace was concerned and I personally consider myself happy to have found not only new beta-readers who I want to exchange critiques with, but also got to meet up with old friends and make new ones along the way. (In case anyone wonders, the one time we absolutely, totally, irredeemably got lost in the middle of rather shady NYC due to acute i-phone-fail was when we set out to meet Erin Morgenstern, author of the BEA sensation The Night Circus. Fortunately she very graciously forgave us for making her wait and we had a fabulous night over yummy nippy Polynesian food).

Occasionally networking involves drinks and chocolate - or both.

...and delicious cup cakes!

The other high-point as far as learning about the craft aspects of writing is concerned, definitely was Donald Maass' all-day workshop Writing The Breakout Novel. Now if you know me, you also know I'm not a huge fan of "How To" books on writing, but that's not what this workshop was. Picture this room full of writers, all armed with pen and paper or laptops and power strips listening to this one guy with the microphone asking them questions. Sounds really simplistic until you realize that you're one of those writers and that those questions seriously make you think around all kinds of corners as we Germans say. And then something beautiful happens, because there's all this STUFF! Stuff that's you've never thought about before. Stuff that will make your novel so much better just for being there - and guess what? No, it doesn't take dozens of pages of added material, but often just fits into a scene that's been lacking the bit of "wow"-factor you've been looking for.

That said, to everyone who gets the chance to attend one of Don Maass' workshops: definitely go for it or buy his books (there is a work book out for the Writing The Breakout Novel workshop that pretty much encapsulates what the workshop is about and how it is structured). But here is a quick rundown of some things that he mentioned and that personally intrigued me:

- Make your reader care about your protagonist. Ways to fail on an epic scale in this regard and things to avoid are unemotional action openings (sure you want to open with a bang, but we also want to care about your characters), writing protagonists that are "just too damn good" (let's face it, no one wants to root for the Perfect Guy with the Perfect Life and Perfectly impeccable morals - that's just boring) - at the same point, don't make your character too dark, too broody and miserable (please, please, please enough with the emo vampires already). Make your protagonist sympathetic and stand out within the first five pages.

- Think about ways that turn your protagonist completely on their head: What is the exact opposite of what they want and what they are? Could you fit this into your novel? - As a matter of fact, how can you turn pretty much anything there is about your protagonist, your antagonist, your plot, your stakes onto its head and make it even worse or even reverse it into the opposite in parts. (This was probably my favorite part of the whole workshop: the fact that whatever there is to your story, try and figure out ways to turn this completely around - with the worst possible consequences for your protagonist and everyone else involved. Plot twists, you can haz them!).

- Think about what your story would be like if your antagonist was the hero/heroine of your story. Donald Maass called it the Antagonist's Outline and what really makes this worth your time is that you want your antagonist to be at least as complex as your protagonist (everyone who has ever read George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series knows this, because let's face it, his evil/crazy characters rock so much more than the good guys. I mean come on, there's Tyrion! ;))

- Are there places in your book where your protagonist wants the exact opposite of what he or she is trying to avoid? Where do they want to quit and give up? If you don't have any of those moments, you better find a place to fit those in.

- And lastly, and probably the thing that got me personally thinking the most was the stress on micro-tension. As in bringing tension on every page and using language that doesn't just re-hash old cliches or the obvious. Think about the details that you wouldn't see at first glance, or the ways a character could feel or react that are completely contradictory to how you would expect them to react or feel.

In the end, this workshop really boiled down to three things you want to avoid: no tension, things that make your reader just not care and lastly using familiar old language that merely states the obvious without going into things like secondary emotions. So in short: whatever you can turn upon its head - do it! Mess with your reader expectation. Mess with your story. Mess with your protagonist. Because, and I'm quoting Donald Maass here "Why can we do all this to our characters?" *whispers* "Because they're not real!"

So yeah, go do that. And take one of those workshops when you get the chance. I promise you won't regret it.

Okay, so now that this thing here turned into one of the longest blog posts in history (I would like to pretend I didn't gush a lot at various people, authors, agents and fellow writers at Backspace, but we all know better than that), I'll take all that post New York euphoria and go write, because there's all this stuff in my head and it wants to be let out.

Oh and hey, did I mention all the BOOKS! Not only was BEA in town, but we also met tons of amazing authors with great books during Backspace. That and my very apparent lack of self-control when wandering a city full of shelves-to-the-ceiling bookshelves resulted in this:

NYC book booty!

That stack of books probably needs its own zip code. Thanks to everyone who I got to ~~gush at~~ talk to during book signings. And yes, in the end my suit case was actually six pounds overweight, so I had to carry on one of the larger bags - which immediately prompted airport security to do a double-take on the bag in the scanner, because they apparently thought I was hiding a knife in them (turned out to be a very harmless book mark, but whatever. Books are dangerous, don't you know?). Anyway, this happens if you're a book nerd with no self-control touring New York with a book seller (who was full of lovely recommendations and much patience for me bouncing all over the place - thank you Helen for holding my hand through this, saving me from almost being hit by a cab and being generally awesome ;)). All these books also totally justifies buying a new bookshelf (which was long over-due anyway). On that note, happy reading and even happier writing!

Anyway, all this has definitely whetted my appetite for more conferences - and more writer meet-ups. If you have any recommendations and/or crazy conference stories of your own, drop me a line.
Cheers,
Alex

Time Turners don't exist. Damn.

2011-05-10T18:07:00.000-07:00

You know that scene from Harry Potter and the Prisoer of Azkaban where Hermione uses a Time Turner to be able to take a bazillion of classes at the same time? I think that's a little bit like being a writer (and most of us probably secretly would sell our soul and worse to get our hands on one of those nifty golden necklaces, let's be honest).
As it is, we sadly have to make do with writing along with working one or even two full-time jobs, maybe even while going to school.

Personally, I've been doing this whole working full-time on an over nights schedule, while going to school in the morning and/or in the evening while writing whenever I get a halfway-conscious couple of house or so for over two years now. And tell you what, while it works, it sure sucks sometimes. I've probably whined about this way too often - maybe almost as often as people ask me "So how do you DO all this without falling over?"

The answer is simple - and sadly, lacking the real existence of Time Turners - by a ridiculous amount of time management, and sadly often at the expense of sleep. Not sure if it's just personal hubris to think I can take on about double of what everyone else is considering "normal", but it was during the last semester, during one of those really dragging work nights at about half past the first Rockstar one the way to some Serious Red Eye, that it hit me how truly crazy all of this really is - a cathartic realization followed by some serious "Why do I even bother" and "OMG, I can't do this anymore", otherwise known as burn out.

I guess I can consider myself lucky for my inner optimist, hidden between all those layers of cynicism, that eventually got myself out of that mindset which had me stressing about all kinds of unmanageable deadlines.

What followed were basically three realizations:

1.) Time Turners don't exist. (Damn.)
2.) I need to keep my goals manageable so they don't drive me insane (Also, being a zombie is no fun.)
3.) Sleep is nice. (The Cats agree.)

All sounds pretty damn obvious, doesn't it? Now if it weren't for my Inner Hermione who thinks she can do anything and everything at once, if really she just keep pushing herself hard enough. But that's not how it works - and honestly if I noticed one thing it's that my writing tends to take a serious dive into the abyss of "You're kidding me, right??"whenever things turn too crazy. So yeah, I need my stress. I'm one of these people who likes to keep busy and needs a certain level of "stress" in order to stay on track. But I think if the last couple months taught me anything it's that I also need my downtime, because if I don't that sleep-deprived zombie comes out of its box and sets out for brains. Mainly mine.

So in the interest of keeping the zombie in the box, aided by the fact that Time Turners are indeed fictional, I guess it all comes down to taking on a little less in order to get done more.

Also, waiting for someone to come up with a Time Turner (really, shouldn't there be an App for that? ;))

Anyway, what this means for me personally, is that I'm planning on taking it a little easier on school (12 credits are full time and more than enough, I don't NEED to pull 18 credits, just because I [somehow] can), I try to sleep my solid six hours a day (followed by the occasional comatose Saturday) and I try to keep my writing goals reasonable (So I thought I could revise this novel in five months, turns out I was wrong, but hey, it'll be even more awesome if I take my time and don't half-ass it).

And what's the purpose of this rant, other than warning everyone not to disturb that zombie in its box (seriously, keep the lid on!) - I'm sure I'm not the only one who's undergoing the day-to-day craziness of impossibly high expectations - What are some of yours? How do you deal with reconciling your expectations with what you can actually manage?

And! If you have a Time Turner, can I borrow it?

Teaser Tuesday raises zombies!

2011-03-28T11:34:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone!

After quite a while of radio silence from me (mostly due to crazy deadline insanity from all sides), I figured I should probably pop back in here, now that the blog's moved to its new and shiny location - and why not do so with a bit of writing?

This is part of what may turn into the opening for my YA urban fantasy THE CURSEBREAKER'S MARK - an idea that blends the German Nibelungen myth together with zombies and shape shifters in an urban fantasy set in today's Frankfurt, Germany. This excerpt is a drastically revised version of last year's NaNoWriMo draft (which was every bit as terribly convoluted and wordy as I expected it to be after I cracked it open more than four months later, heh!) Hope you'll enjoy this. Posting this bit, which may with some more editing turn into chapter one of the actual novel. This piece here is actually something I'm planning to read and submit for a project we're doing with my writer's workshop class.

Hope you enjoy meeting Ash and Sig.

Cheers,

Alex.

Accidental Zombie Raisings

by Alex Harrow

I didn’t mean to raise the zombie. It was an accident. Honest

Karstens was going to kill me. Or whatever the zombie left of me, knowing my boss, he wouldn’t be too choosy there. Crap.

I scrambled away from him so fast, I almost knocked over one of my candles, my heart beating like a death metal drum solo. With an emphasis on death. The zombie didn’t make a move, just stood there, tall, very blond and leaning against the cemetery’s crumbling brick wall. He looked almost bored, kicking back with his hands buried in the pockets of his black duster. Watching.

Hope sparked. Maybe he wasn’t like the standard rotting-flesh, brain-eating sort of zombie. But that was crazy. As crazy as the idea that I had raised him in the first place. Because that would take magic and the whole deal with the black candles and low murmurs and clichéd voodoo airs I’d put on sure as hell didn’t have a whit to do with magic. That was just part of the show. The part that usually convinced the client that they hadn’t just handed over a wad of cash to yet another scammer claiming to have some sort of connection to the Beyond.

I clasped my left wrists, covert fingers running up my sleeve, to the burn mark on the inside of my left wrist. Just to make sure. The scar was still there, of course. Ugly as ever, a daily reminder that my magic was dead and gone and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

“Um, Miss Rivers?” a small voice next to me said, “Are you going to ask him about the gold or not?”

Aw, shit. I had completely forgotten about Wittemberger, the client. Not that there was much about Karl-Heinz Wittemberger that made me want to remember him. Everything from the shiny black polish of his shoes and the golden clip to the pair of tiny rimless glasses that balanced on a fat knobby nose screamed corporate executive. Frankfurt was overrun with his kind and at some point they just all started to blend together like a swarm of hungry locusts, only that they lived off hedge fonds, dividends and bankruptcies these days.

Wittemberger looked kind of green around the nose as he eyed the zombie. Guess he hadn’t been the only one convinced that I’d never pull this off. Still, there was a greedy glimmer in his beady eyes. Like leaving his perfectly standardized cubicle and following me out of the city center into some dinky graveyard just outside of Frankfurt Westend was suddenly all worth it.

A hysterical giggle bubbled up the back of my throat. If this had been some screwed up black comedy, it would have been hilarious.

I had to get him out of here. Scrap that, I had to get both of us out of here. Pronto.

My eyes darted to my duffel bag that I’d dropped on the ground just a few feet away. Underneath all the fake voodoo stuff it had my weapons, mostly of the sharp and pointy kind. I’d brought the simple stuff, nothing too bulky. Daggers, machetes, even a hatchet or two. When really what I wanted was a gun. A big gun, good for blasting brains out. Or maybe a rocket launcher. Sadly German authorities really had an issue with all of the above, so down to knives I was.

It didn’t matter. The bag could as well have been lying a mile away. No chance that I’d get to it before the zombie would rip my head off and slurp my brains out like a smoothie. Not exaggerating here. I’d seen it. Not pretty and so not how I planned to end my night.

Karsten’s would have said I deserved it. “Sloppy,” I could almost hear his voice in my head. “Sloppy planning. Sloppy preparation and sloppy execution. Leading to an even sloppier, let alone messy death. Good work, Ash. You’ve outdone yourself yet again, congratulations.”

Looked like he could congratulate my dead body when all was said and done. My grip on my wrist tightened, fingering the hilt of the knife I kept strapped there. More of a comfort thing for myself, really, because up and close with a zombie, I might as well attack him with a toothpick, the same good it’d do me.

Maybe I should just make a run for it. On my own I might even have a chance, while the zombie would get a bite or three out of Wittemberger. My fingers closed around the hilt of the knife, warm against my skin.

“Miss Rivers,” Wittemberger whined again. “The gold?”

Yes, maybe I should just leave him. Do the world a favor.

Still, Karstens would kill me for this and that was only the beginning. Once they’d find whatever was left of his chewed up body…. No. Couldn’t do it.

I sighed inwardly and cleared my throat. “Right,” I said, figuring I should probably do something other than stand there with my mouth open. “The Gold. Um--”

Whatever I was about to say ended in a squeak when the zombie took a few steps forward. With the heel of his boot, he knocked over another one of my candles that had formed the corners of a pentagram etched into the cemetery lawn. His upper lip curled just a little when the candle went out with a hiss and the zombie stepped out of the circle of salt that connected the corners, obviously unimpressed by my third-rate zombie-raising props.

“Really,” he said, his mouth curling into a derisive sneer. “One would think you mortals would get more creative over time. I suppose I am bound to be disappointed.”

He looked at me, then shook his head, blond hair gleaming in the low light. “The gold. That’s what you brought me here for?”

“Ah, um, yes.” My mouth shut with a click. Smooth. Real smooth.

The zombie laughed. It was a surprisingly light sound, clear and rippling like a bell through the cool night air. "Of course, what else could it be? Well, let's spare both you and me some embarrassment and let me tell you that you are indeed wasting your time. There is no gold."

"There is no— what?" The tremble in Wittemberger's voice gave way to a shrill high pitch. "That's impossible. You’re lying The myth clearly says Hagen von Tronje threw the gold into the Rhine to hide it after he—, after your death. All the sources say it should still be there, but no one has found it until now. We just need to know where—"

The zombie's face darkened like a storm cloud, blond eyebrows furrowing as he turned to Wittemberger who positively shrunk in his ridiculously overpriced suit.

"Keep your delusions and pretty stories about hidden treasures, but I’m no liar. There is no gold. And even if there was, you may understand that I was a little caught up in getting killed to know where exactly the gold went afterward.”

Yikes, talk about the wrong thing to say. Figures that the guy would be just a tad touchy about the whole business of getting himself killed over some alleged fortune that way too many people had wanted to get their grubby hands on in his time. And then he’d been offed by his best friend, who’d taken the word backstabbing just a bit too literal. Or so the story went. No wonder the guy was still having a grudge. I’d be pretty pissed too, if someone dragged me back from the afterlife just to ask me stupid questions about something that’d gotten me killed over a thousand years ago.

“The gold is cursed, in case that eluded you. So I suggest you don’t mention anything of it to anyone ever again. Are we clear on this?”

Wittemberger's mustache trembled under the zombie's cold gaze. Still, his jaw had that defiant set that screamed finance shark. His kind wasn't about to give in easily. But neither was the zombie and once he got his hands on him he'd be done for.

"Clear," I said, somehow managing to keep my voice even. "We're done here."

"We're not!," Wittemberger snapped, his face flushed with a little more than symptoms of high blood pressure. "You," he pointed his finger at me. "You punk.You're not going to let him walk like this. I paid good money to get what I want and what I want is to know where the gold is. And if that's really Siegfried of the Nibelungen, then he knows perfectly well where it is, cursed or not. I want it. So use your hoodoo or whatever it is you do and make him tell me!"

Things happened fast after that. The zombie shot forward before I could even get a hold of the knife on my belt. Wittemberger gave a strangled yelp; it made him sound like one of those annoying little lapdogs, the kind glittery rich girls could carry in their purses. The zombie got a handful of his starched shirtfront and yanked him close, pinning the poor guy between him and one of the more ornate mausoleums he’d been standing by.

I noticed the hilt of a long sword in a scabbard slung over his right shoulder. Definitely fit the legend that Siegfried of the Nibelungen was supposed to be some famous dragon slayer type. Here was hoping he wouldn’t go all dragon slayer on Wittemberger instead. But he made no move to draw it. He didn’t need to. He was freakishly tall, for one of the walking dead – especially one who’s supposed to have kicked it more than a millennium ago – and ended up literally breathing down Wittemberger’s neck.

Yep. That was it. The zombie was going to kill him. And Wittemberger knew it too. His little eyes looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets.

"No one," the zombie snarled, his voice precise and cutting like cold steel, "calls me by that name anymore. That name died the day Hagen rammed that spear into my back.” His eyes took on a dangerous glint, burning like blue flame in the night. “After all your trouble it seems you have resurrected the wrong one. If you really want to know where the gold went, you should ask Hagen himself. I wish you the best of luck with that. As for me, no one is going to make me do or say anything. Do you understand?" The zombie's eyes stayed fixed on Wittemberger, their faces only inches apart. All that the zombie would have to do is lean forward and tear Wittemberger's throat out. For once Wittemberger knew better than to object.

"I...understand", he whispered with the voice of someone who was just about to wet his pants. "I...I'm sorry. I..."

The zombie gave him a wolfish grin, showing off rows of perfectly white teeth. "Good. Now leave."

No need to tell Wittemberger twice. He scampered off and down the hill to his car much faster than I’d ever given a fat balding corporate credit for. Apparently his need for survival outweighed his greed just for once – though I wouldn’t bet on the effect to last very long. The sound of a car door banging shut and the engine of his Mercedes S class revving in a very un-Mercedes-like way and gone he was.

Which still left me alone smack in the middle of a Westend graveyard with a zombie.

“So,” the zombie said pleasantly. “Now that the distractions are taken care of, I think it’s time for a proper introduction.” He held out his hand. I tried hard not to look at it like I expected half of it to fall away the next second. Then again there probably was no point in trying to pretend that I wasn’t about ready to run like hell, or take my chances with that toothpick of a knife I still had strapped to my wrist.

Apparently the zombie was as unimpressed by my obvious panicking as he was by my wannabe magic, because he carried on seamlessly. “My name is Siegfried Nibell,” the zombie said and actually took my hand to shake it. His skin was cold, fresh-out-of-the-grave-cold, but at least it wasn’t falling off in chunks. Yet. “But then again you already know that, don’t you, Miss Ashley Marian Rivers?”

I blinked. “How do you— Call me Ash,” I grated out, somehow saving myself from choking on my own tongue. “Go ahead and kill me, if you want, but don’t call me Ashley ever again. It’s way too Gone with the Wind.”

That one got me a brilliant smile. “Oh I have no intentions of killing you,” the zombie said in that weird cut-glass accent of his. “At least not before you tell me why you dragged me back here. People usually do this kind of magic without ulterior motives. And how do they say, they better be good. If you get my meaning.”

I laughed. It was a dry, humorless sound and did a pretty poor job covering up my panic. Time to get creative. Time to get real bloody creative. And fast.

2010 in Books

2010-12-31T18:50:00.000-08:00

I've read 120 books this year. Most of them were great, some of them only mediocre, some of them pretty horrible and some, quite a few actually, were downright amazing and a great inspiration to my writing.

Also, I need a new bookshelf. Again. ;)

Seems to become kind of a New Year tradition for me, the whole book shelf-buying thing.

Interestingly enough, this year there's A LOT of YA on the list; I guess I'm kind of a Late Bloomer in discovering the awesomeness of this genre. Also, don't really have one favorite for this year, but if I was to pick a few books that definitely stood out among the rest then it'd be Sarah Rees Brennan's THE DEMON'S LEXICON and THE DEMON'S COVENANT, as well as Holly Black's WHITE CAT in YA, Richard Kadrey's SANDMAN SLIM in Urban Fantasy, same for Jim Butcher's CHANGES (can't wait for the next book!) and Manna Francis' Administration series in adult/erotica. But then again there's way more on this list that was just made of plain good ol' awesome :D

So without further blathering on my part, my list of books read in 2010:

1.) Henrik Ibsen – FOUR PLAYS
2.) Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn – THE GULAG
3.) Czeslaw Milosz – THE BOOK OF LUMINOUS THINGS
4.) Voltaire – CANDIDE
5.) Milan Kundera – THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING
6.) Joe Abercrombie – BEST SERVED COLD
7.) Tamara Allen – DOWNTIME
8.) Tamara Allen – WHISTLING IN THE DARK
9.) Holly Black – TITHE
10.) Holly Black – VALIANT
11.) Holly Black – IRONSIDE
12.) Holly Black – WHITE CAT
13.) Chaz Brenchley – THE BRIDGE OF DREAMS
14.) Jim Butcher – CHANGES
15.) Kristin Cashore – GRACELING
16.) Kristin Cashore – FIRE
17.) Cassandra Clare – CITY OF BONES
18.) Cassandra Clare – CITY OF ASHES
19.) Cassandra Clare – CITY OF GLASS
20.) Cassandra Clare – CLOCKWORK ANGEL
21.) Suzanne Collins – HUNGER GAMES
22.) Suzanne Collins – CATCHING FIRE
23.) Suzanne Collins – MOCKINGJAY
24.) Lynn Flewelling – THE WHITE ROAD
25.) Lynn Flewelling – GLIMPSES
26.) Manna Francis – MIND FUCK
27.) Manna Francis – QUID PRO QUO
28.) Manna Francis – GAMES AND PLAYERS
29.) Manna Francis – CONTROL
30.) Manna Francis – QUIS CUSTODIET
31.) Manna Francis – FIRST AGAINST THE WALL
32.) Jeaniene Frost – HALFWAY TO THE GRAVE
33.) Jeaniene Frost – ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE
34.) Jeaniene Frost – AT GRAVE’S END
35.) Jeaniene Frost – DESTINED FOR AN EARLY GRAVE
36.) Jeaniene Frost – FIRST DROP OF CRIMSON
37.) Rebecca Gable – DAS SPIEL DER KOENIGE
38.) Rebecca Gable – DAS ZWEITE KOENIGREICH
39.) Kelly Gay – THE BETTER PART OF DARKNESS
40.) Austen and Graham-Smith – PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES
41.) Tanya Huff – BLOOD PRICE
42.) Tanya Huff – BLOOD TRAIL
43.) Tanya Huff – BLOOD LINES
44.) Tanya Huff – BLOOD PACT
45.) Tanya Huff – BLOOD DEBT
46.) Tanya Huff – SMOKE AND SHADOWS
47.) Tanya Huff – SMOKE AND MIRRORS
48.) Tanya Huff – SMOKE AND ASHES
49.) Jaida Jones and Danielle Bennett – HAVEMERCY
50.) Jaida Jones and Danielle Bennett – SHADOW MAGIC
51.) Richard Kadrey – SANDMAN SLIM
52.) Richard Kadrey – KILL THE DEAD
53.) Richard Kadrey – BUTCHER BIRD
54.) Stacia Kane – UNHOLY GHOSTS
55.) Stacia Kane – UNHOLY MAGIC
56.) Stacia Kane – CITY OF GHOSTS
57.) A. S. King – THE DUST OF 100 DOGS
58.) Ursula K. Le Guin – THE LEFT HAND OF DARKNESS
59.) Ellen Kushner – SWORDPOINT
60.) Malinda Lo – ASH
61.) Kasey Mackenzie – RET HOT FURY
62.) Richelle Mead – VAMPIRE ACADEMY
63.) Richelle Mead – FROSTBITE
64.) Richelle Mead – SHADOW KISS
65.) Richelle Mead – BLOOD PROMISE
66.) Richelle Mead – SPIRIT BOUND
67.) Perry Moore – HERO
68.) Richard Morgan – BROKEN ANGELS
69.) Jill Myles – GENTLEMEN PREFER SUCCUBI
70.) Jill Myles – SUCCUBI LIKE IT HOT
71.) Carol Lynn Pearson – GOODBYE, I LOVE YOU
72.) Carol Lynn Pearson – NO MORE GOODBYES
73.) Jordan Castillo Price – AMONG THE LIVING
74.) Jordan Castillo Price – CRISS CROSS
75.) Jordan Castillo Price – BODY AND SOUL
76.) Jordan Castillo Price – SECRETS
77.) Cherie Priest – BONESHAKER
78.) Sarah Rees Brennan – THE DEMON’S LEXICON
79.) Sarah Rees Brennan – THE DEMON’S COVENANT
80.) Rick Riordan – PERCY JACKSON AND THE LIGHTENING THIEF
81.) Max Brooks – THE ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE
82.) Ash Penn – STRAY
83.) Jeff Somers – THE ETERNAL PRISON
84.) Jeff Somers – THE TERMINAL STATE
85.) K. A. Stewart – A DEVIL IN THE DETAILS
86.) Maggie Stiefvater – SHIVER
87.) Maggie Stiefvater – LINGER
88.) Rob Thurman – NIGHTLIFE
89.) Rob Thurman – MOONSHINE
90.) Rob Thurman – MADHOUSE
91.) Rob Thurman – DEATHWISH
92.) Rob Thurman – ROADKILL
93.) Rob Thurman – CHIMERA
94.) Sarah Waters – FINGERSMITH
95.) Scott Westerfeld – LEVIATHAN
96.) Kiersten White – PARANORMALCY
97.) Chris Wooding – RETRIBUTION FALLS
98.) Markus Zusak – THE BOOK THIEF
99.) M. J. Pearson – HELPLESS
100.) Jim Butcher – SIDE JOBS
101.) Gail Carriger – SOULLESS
102.) Gail Carriger – CHANGELESS
103.) Stephan Grundy – RHEINGOLD
104.) Anonymous – NIBELUNGENLIED
105.) Diana L. Paxson - TAKING UP THE RUNES
106.) Joel Derfner - GAY HAIKU
107.) Harry Connolly – CHILD OF FIRE
108.) Kelly Gay – THE DARKEST EDGE OF DAWN
109.) Lisa Desrochers – PERSONAL DEMONS
110.) Richelle Mead – LAST SACRIFICE
111.) Brenna Yovanoff – THE REPLACEMENT
112.) Rachel Caine – GLASS HOUSES
113.) Rachel Caine – DEAD GIRL’S DANCE
114.) Rachel Caine – MIDNIGHT ALLEY
115.) Rachel Caine – FEAST OF FOOLS
116.) Rachel Caine – LORD OF MISRULE
117.) Rachel Caine – CARPE CORPUS
118.) Rachel Caine – FADE OUT
119.) Rachel Caine – KISS OF DEATH
120.) Rachel Caine - GHOST TOWN

And what about you? How many books did you read in 2010? What are your favorite picks?

In which I get all kinds of introspective and maybe just a little bit sappy, but intend to do it well ;)

2010-12-23T19:36:00.000-08:00

Five years ago today my best childhood friend died in a car accident at age 18. And other than thinking "wow, it can't possibly have been this long ago" and "man, I still miss her" and "I wish we had spent more time together" and "yes, that trip to Rome together in 12th grade was amazing", what today makes me think of is how important it is to live your life, every day, every moment to its fullest, because hey, you never know when it's over, right?

On that note, the question rolls around: what have I done with my life? I'm I holding up to that idea to live my life in a spontaneous, no-regrets way or am I just talking nice to make myself feel better? Honestly, I've been wondering about that lately in a bout of what my mother likes to refer as "the female obsession with chronic, unwarranted self-doubt." And you know what, I think she's got it right about the "unwarranted" part, because looking back - although it's been a quiet year without my usual half-ton of trips etc - I think I accomplished quite a bit, actually.

I finally finished writing the book that's been kinda sorta on hold since I finished the first draft in 2007 and not only did I revamp it entirely and take a huge leap in reconceptualizing the whole thing, I also really got myself back into the swing of writing, employing tons of things that I've learned in the meantime. Sure, it needs a ton of editing, but I feel like things are finally heading into the right direction. Hey, only took me like four years to get there ;)

Also, I started to write a second book, a book that's a bit our there, a book that challenged me to genre-bend and doubtlessly a book that's totally in the beginning stages of things. But it's a good book. Or will be. Maybe. Probably. I won Nanowrimo with it, also for the first time since 2007 and more than that my head is actually once again full of ideas. Which is something that should come natural to every writer, but for me for whatever reason, this one has kind of been the tough part, the part where I felt like a total hack, with only that One Idea prevalent in my mind, but nothing else. But now we have soon-to-be-awesome Urban Fantasy (aka the Nanowrimo book) and a steampunk meets Firefly with vampires idea that yet needs to be started, but will be awesome. So yeah, I guess on top of writing a bit more than one and a half novels this year, I also found my muse again and if anything that's even more important than finishing drafts.

That's it for the writing-related site, but what about me personally? Let's see.

- I immigrated. Or rather, I managed to get through all the chaos of paperwork and emotional trauma, let alone come up with the finances to make sure that I'm now a permanent holder of what I like to refer to as my Magic Ticket (y'know, one of those shiny green cards that say, no, we won't kick you out of our country again ;) And yes, I did manage to get there without a lawyer. Go me ;)

- I realized that home isn't really home anymore. Now that may sound negative, given how I went back home to Germany and actually found myself missing my home here in U.S. and it's not saying that I don't miss my family and friends over there, but in the end, I realized that I'm just not the same person who left Germany back in 2007 anymore and maybe that's a good thing. I may not have stopped trying to find my place yet, in fact, I'm probably still wandering about, fumbling in the dark, but while I'm doing so, I also would never want to have missed all the things that come along with it, least of all the feeling that what I'm doing I'm really doing by and for myself. What can I say, independence is shiny ;)

- I finally got around to changing my name back to my maiden name (again, braving paperwork and lots of frustration, but hey, it's done :))

- I got my GPA up to 4.0 (yeah, I'm a nerd and proud of it, so sue me :p)

- I read 115 books so far (and counting. The year isn't over yet, guys ;))

And most important of all, I think I finally seem to have figured out what's me, or more importantly what's so not me. On top of the writing, the reading and generally being an unrepentant nerd, I finally learned that I'm perfectly okay by myself, that I'm not necessarily the relationship type (or rather, that I finally developed standards). Also, that partners come and go, but it's friends that last, it's friends who will pull me out of my occasional emotional ditches and that's something pretty damn priceless in my opinion.

So yeah, on the bottom line, I think the best thing I learned this year is to be myself and do my own thing and that quirks and occasional weirdness is what makes things all the more awesome.

Thinking about my friend, I actually had this really weird, surreal dream back when I'd first moved to the U.S. in which, for whatever reason we were both talking about things that were going on in our lives and how much had changed over the years. Now I don't exactly remember the details of it all, but in the end it pretty much boiled down to "Whatever you do, do it well."

Not sure if I'm entirely successful at that yet, but all things considered, I think I'm heading into the right direction.

/end personal sappy rant

Why it really does get better.

2010-10-03T17:10:00.000-07:00

I was about thirteen when I realized I was in deep shit.

In small-town Germany, I always used to be the weird kid, the kid that didn't fit in, no matter how hard she tried, the kid that was different. And back then I hadn't even figured out that I was gay (or bi or whatever you want to call it) yet. The rest of the story you probably know and that's really not what this is about. This isn't about all those times you couldn't get out of school fast enough, or hoped you'd survive another ride home on the school bus, or learned the Importance of Running Really Fast, because you'll have to get the hell of here or they'll kill you next time. This also isn't about you the times when you thought that maybe it'd be better if they did, or the times when you thought how it'd be to just go ahead and do it yourself. Because that'd be when they'd win.

No. What this is about is when you're the one who wins. This is about the part when it does get better and why.

Now, my personal experience is that Getting The Fuck Out has really worked for me, in a way. Things definitely got a lot better when I moved from smalltown Germany to Bigtown Frankfurt, where I went to university, and even more importantly lived with a bunch of very diverse room mates in this totally run-down hole-in-a-wall dorm in the Frankfurt Westend. Yes, it definitely helped that some of them were gay or simply didn't give a shit who you hang out with or brought back to your room (whether or not you REALLY need to relay ALL the details of your sexual conquests to the rest of your room mates in the kitchen later is up for debate - yes, Gerald, I'm talking to YOU - but whatever). The bottom line: things will definitely go a whole lot better for you in big cities, yes.

But what if you can't get our? Or, what if you got yourself smack into the middle of Jesusland America, full of the religious crazies and you're wondering how the hell THAT happened and if you really haven't learned anything in all those years of wanting to get out of all of this.

Well here's a simple truth for you - you'll find intolerant people anywhere, but you'll also find lots of awesome people where you'd least expect them to be.

In my case, I probably have more queer friends (and more of the straight-but-not-narrow sort) here in Utah of all states than I ever had back in Germany. Sure, sometimes just about everything about living here pisses me off and I still want to get back to a bigger city, but all in all, I've also found a lot of amazing people, people who understand me, people who want to be different - queer or not - around here and it's great.

Sure, there still are those days when I wonder what the fuck I'm doing here and if all of this isn't a giant waste of time. There are those days when I feel like nobody is possibly ever going to want to read those LGBT-themed books that I write. That it's all insignificant drivel. Or when I worry about what will happen once I've actually finished school and become a teacher here, a teacher who's going to be openly bi, a teacher who hopes she'll actually be able to help some of those students who are stuck in that time where it seems like things just aren't going to get any better, ever.

Some days, living here does indeed feel like running against a wall.

But then again there are those days when life just rocks or my mother tells me "Look how far you have come. You'd never have gotten this far, if you hadn't decided to go your own way. You're doing great and I'm proud of you." Those moments somehow make it all seem worth it.

So really, when it comes down to it, this is about three things.

One is don't let them win. Get out if you have to. Take that leap of faith. It'll be worth it.

Two is that you're not the only one out there. Even if it seems that way sometimes, you'll also find awesome people where you'd least expect them.

And three is what's probably most important: It's going to be okay. It'll get better and really being different is what ultimately makes you awesome.

P.S.: On that note, I just want to plug two absolutely wonderful books that have been very inspiring to me, especially over the last year. Carol Lynn Pearson's account of her life and lifelong love and friendship with her gay husband GOODBYE, I LOVE YOU and NO MORE GOODBYES. Both of those books are very Utah-specific in a way, but I think they go beyond that as Pearson gives a very personal account of the struggle people of the LGBT community still face and ultimately what tolerance really means. Go check them out :)

Also, if you haven't checked out Dan Savage's It Gets Better Project channel on youtube, go and do that RIGHT NOW.

Oh and yes, living proof for my flag-waver-dom: 17-year-old me wrapped in a rainbow flag :)

So I finished this draft. Now what?

2010-08-22T18:09:00.000-07:00

Dusting off the cobwebs (and are those BATS coming out of the black hole that is my blog???), I just wanted to announce that, no, this novel has not managed to kill me and yes, I in fact did finish this draft of it - yay me :D

I ended up shooting past my original word count goal of 80,000 words and ended up with a hunk of a 91,125 word drat that should be the third (or was it fourth?) draft of a novel I've been working on for four years now, but really this thing is more like a first draft than anything.

So now what do I do?

Three things, really:

Yes, I have a slight post-it-note addiction problem...

1.) Print the draft. Yes, the full draft. No matter how loudly the printer complains or how much ink/paper it takes (wait, is that smoke coming out of my printer???)

2.) Import the complete novel into Scrivener, if you have it. Honestly, this program alone has totally been worth buying a macbook (yes, I'm a recent mac-convert and I love it :D). Outlining and getting a good overview of your project is a breeze with the index cards and outlining tools of this program.

3.) Holly Lisle's One Pass Revision Method. My wonderfully awesome crit partner Parametric first recommended this to me and I'm finally ready to really try this (fortunately I already jotted down tons of notes regarding part 1 of this revision method and we'll see how the rest goes, I'll keep you posted).

So here's my To-Do-List for the next couple months:

1.) Revise EMPIRE OF LIGHT (It'd be lovely to have this completely revised by the end of October, but we'll see how much school and work life kick my otherwise reclusive ass ;))

2.) Critique lots of queries over in Absolute Write's Query Letter Hell (QLH), in hopes of getting a good grip on what works and what doesn't work in queries and come up with a workable query pitch for EMPIRE OF LIGHT that doesn't make me cringe.

3.) Outline and start THE GHOSTS I CALLED (TGIC), my YA urban fantasy featuring zombie dragonslayers, shirtless ghosts and a gender-changing main character.

3.) NaNoWriMo. Tentatively planning on either finishing TGIC or kicking off LEVITICUS (which I also need to outline), my "steampunk meets Firefly with vampires" idea.

So yes, it'll be a busy couple of months coming up. Hopefully I'll survive and will not fall prone to caffeine-induced cardiac arrest or just plain kill myself by being either too busy or (which is more likely) do something completely stupid. Here's hoping ;)

Die, procrastination, die!

2010-06-16T18:06:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I always feel bad when I sleep too long (meaning more than five hours on a work day/night) Oh well, this over night schedule isn't going to kill me (yet). Anyway, today is one of those days that I'd rather have spent writing. Or writing more at least. Guilt, guilt, well damn.

Anyway, then I stumbled over this video of fellow writer and YA Rebel Jen Haley (check out her blog, it's awesome) and it kind of made my day, because...you know that feeling, right? That nagging feeling? ;)

Voice Issues - You know, I should've just listened to Damian.

2010-06-13T07:27:00.000-07:00

“Why the fuck do I have to do all the body-dragging?”
“Because,” Raeyn said, “to put it into your words, we’ve fucked up. No, let me rephrase, you fucked up. And now man up and do your job.”
“Seriously surprises me that you haven’t stuck a Dumb Muscle label to my forehead yet.”
“You want one? Why didn’t you tell me so before?”

What is the first thing that usually pops into your mind when creating a scene or even a whole chapter? In the paast, the answer for me has usually been an image of a scene, a piece of very vivid description, or a character in general (my novel ideas definitely start out with the character first). But in the microcosm of writing, lately I tend more and more to think of voice as being the incident that really triggers a scene. I suppose a lot of this has to do with the fact that I have a pretty boring over night work routine that gives me tons and tons of time to mull over my writing (that and BS and trash-talk with my supervisors, love you guys!).

Consequently, I often start a chapter not so much based on my outline, but on a specific key line that pops into my head. A lot of this has to do with the character dynamics in this scene, but overall the advantage of starting things out with a popping key line is that you really get into the swing of things. Those lines aren't just random pieces of witty dialogue, they set the mood and stage for your scene and in the end they're what keep me going.

Not sure about you, but I totally lose my grip on a scene, if I lose grip on my character's voice. Or maybe that's just my ultimate quick-fix for everything. Not sure. All I know is that Damian's PoV is full of win and that I love how things keep flowing once I hit the voice just right. What about you? How do you deal with voice/flow issues?

In case you thought EMPIRE OF LIGHT is all I have up my sleeve --- oh, wait, is that a LAPTOP in your pants???

2010-06-07T15:52:00.000-07:00

No. Not a laptop, but a new shiny WIP. You may or may not have heard me ramble about it before, but as soon as EMPIRE OF LIGHT is finished, polished, cohesive and potentially marketable and *gasp* query ready, work on my YA urban fantasy SLEEPING WITH GHOSTS will ensue.

SLEEPING WITH GHOSTS in short is going to be part crazy crossover between American urban fantasy and Germanic legends, featuring a bi-gender protagonist, who not only happens to be a cursed, pathological liar, but also has issues with ghosts and the occasional zombie getting into his/her way. Together with Sig, a resurrected (or shall we use Ash's term "zombified"?) dragonslayer of Germanic myth, Ash has to deal with ghosts frequenting his/her dreams, some kick-ass agents of the Cursebreakers on their heels, and oh, did I mention zombies?

So stay tuned for a tiny excerpt from what is going to be SLEEPING WITH GHOSTS. This one is going to be fun and I can't wait starting to really work on it :)

“It would be a stupid idea to kill me.” I flashed Merle my most convincing smile.

Apparently it didn’t impress her or her heavy boot that kept me pinned to the ground. Or her knife aimed right at my throat.

“Really?” Merle raised one coppery eyebrow. What was it with Redheats hating my guts? And anyway weren’t freckles supposed to make you look a little childish, friendly, harmless?

Bull shit.

In Merle Lando they brought out the badass. Her hair glowed like hellfire in the fading sunlight. “I think killing you is the best idea I’ve had in the last century or so.”

“But I know where the key is. The ghosts told me. You’ve seen it, remember?”

“Shifter,” Merle said, rolling the word back and forth on her tongue, relishing it.

I wished she’d stop calling me that. Right after she let me go and be on my way to betray her again. They say if you have partners like me, you don’t need enemies. They may be right and damn me if I regretted anything I had done. It had been necessary, damn it.

“Liar,” Merle said, voice suddenly distant, reminiscing. “You always lied. You lied about the ghosts, you lied about the Cursebreakers, you lied about who you are. Lies, all of it. It’s your fault they’re dead. You killed my family. You. Not them. It’s never been them.” Merle’ eyes burned with blue fire. “But I’m done waiting. Done following you around. It’s your turn now. Finally.”

“Yes,” I swallowed, carefully, eyes fixed on her hand holding the knife. “I can see your point. But don’t you think that now that you have your chance, revenge tastes stale and bitter and maybe just a tad unfulfilling?”

Merle cocked her head to the side, considering.

“No,” she said and drove the knife in.

Monday Takes A Peak Into My Writing Cave

2010-05-31T15:22:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I love my new place. Big desk, lots of whiteboards, lots of space for whiteboards (there are 5 of them, 4 for different aspects of EoL, one of SWG scribbles) and I'm even utilizing the space on the fridge next to my desk. The result, here:

I'm all about having an awesome writing cave. Whiteboards are wonderful. So are color-coded index cards and sticky notes. Part of them hold outlines, part of them (the yellow ones to the left) my favorite TV tropes. And one of my favorite things featured on my big writing board is a quote from Don Maas at this previous weekend's Backspace Writer's Conference "Is there a moment in your manuscript when your protagonist decides that the cost is too high to achieve his goal? That he wants to quit?" This has been a wonderful pointer for me and totally emulates the black moment in EMPIRE OF LIGHT.

So anyway, I'm an antisocial recluse, all couped up in my writing corner as I intend to achieve the following three goals in the month of June:

1.) Finish this draft of EoL (dun dun DUN! about 35k to go and if I keep this up I may just make it ;)) Also, Write or Die is my friend :D Although Nazca-cat hates it. She comes running and gives me the WTF?! Make it STOP! STUPID BIPED!!! - look whenever it goes off. So I better keep writing...
2.) Edit the parts that are still in Ares' PoV to form one shiny and cohesive draft, also include all the editing notes on the editing pointers whiteboard.
3.) Get this puppy send out to betas with the hope that it won't be too physically painful for any unsuspecting beta I may be able to ensnare/rope into reading ;)

Anyway, better get back to writing. That mid-book-climax is clamoring for attention ;)

P.S.: I'm also getting really stoked to start SLEEPING WITH GHOSTS a UF with a snarky bi-gender MC who likes to make money by scamming people (and also is able to communicate with the dead) and a zombified dragon slayer of the Germanic Nibelungen saga. Together Ash and Sig are going to rock out in a slightly whacky, slightly wild German/English UF crossover full of pathological liars, kick-ass women, creepy, vengeful witches and old gypsy curses ;)

The Damian Approach To Plot

2010-05-23T00:32:00.000-07:00

Got an idea, but no plot? Then, go apply The Damian Approach:

Hunt down the plot, preferably in a dark alley, knock it out, tie it to a chair and make it talk at gunpoint. Alternatively, just show it The Goods (read: torture instruments, not whatever you might be thinking :p) and it'll be meek and docile as a lamb.

Don't believe me?

Try it, it works.

Honest.

And Here We Go Again - The Ruthless Revamp Returns!

2010-05-18T20:36:00.000-07:00

Seriously what is this with me and doing major revamps of my novel always around chapter 13? Last time it was a back and forth between medieval and futuristic fantasy along with PoV changes, this time it's me taking an idea that my friend Parametric rekindled and I've decided to run with it: writing this entire thing from Damian's PoV. Because, let's face it, Ares' PoV just isn't "it" and Damian is so much more fun to write and actually drives things forward.

Because honestly, who can say no to snark, violence and my favorite trigger-happy assassin with anger issues?

Now the real challenge lies in restructuring the Ares chapters that I already have to fit into the Damian PoV, while incurring minimal cuts and a potential for further subplots and a more action-driven narrative including more supporting characters. Also, this way Ares will come off as much more creepy, dubious and villainy - fun times for me.

And yes, I am officially done yanking my hair out and yelling at my computer. No, not even contemplating heavy drinking anymore. Okay, maybe a little heavy drinking?

Oh well, such is writing life.

And on a finishing note: God is a writer. Check out last week's season finale of SUPERNATURAL if you don't believe me. This show definitely has a spot within my favorites. Love, love, love it :)

I am the Unloved Step-Child

2010-05-03T17:05:00.000-07:00

I'm slightly perplexed and bemused about how much easier chapters with Damian's PoV come together than Ares' do. Wondering if it's just Damian's badassery, his voice, the fact that his chapters are much more action-driven than Ares' or what? I mean I love Ares, but writing his PoV sometimes feels like pulling teeth. Which in turn makes me fret about how intriguing/sympathetic Ares is a main character. But then again he is pretty awesome and badass on his own, so why am I having such a hard time with him while a lot of people tell me how much they love Damian and Raeyn?

Any thoughts on this? Is this normal? Am I doing something wrong? Does this happen to you?

Yeah, I'm fretting.

*twitchy hands go for the Jade-Colored-Glasses*

Return of the Jade-Colored Glasses

2010-04-28T19:28:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I thought I'd lost my pair of jade-colored glasses, but oh no, here they are again and I'm looking at my WIP through a jade tint...Not good, folks, not good at all. There are three reasons why I'm fretting right now:

1.) So now that my semester is over and I merely spent 10 hours a day at work, I should have more time to sit down, get my ass into gear and write this thing, right? No. Because in the ever-changing life of Dys I've had the questionably brilliant idea to move again. Don't get me wrong, I love to move to new places, am practically a nomad as is, but this whole moving business seriously is distracting me from writing. Meaning that between painting, moving furniture and living in total chaos I'm probably not going to make my self-imposed deadline at the end of May. I know, it really doesn't matter and shouldn't upset me, but it does. Blame chronic neuroses and irrationality.

2.) Superglued at my heels the question: Does this whole book make sense? Will readers be sympathetic towards protagonist A or merely think he's a stubborn, stupid idiot and I'm completely failing at creating sympathy/affection for this character?

Which in turn brings us to

3.) Who the fuck am I kidding? The execution of this book is less than poor, characterization and plot are sketchy, either leaving out or dumping backstory onto the reader. Chapters flow poorly and let's not even talk about the nightmare of transitions.

Bottom line: This sucks.

The Wondrous Outlining Powers of the Excel Spreadsheet

2010-04-26T19:19:00.000-07:00

So, writing felt like a haggled train of half-starved PoWs drudging through three feet of snow and ice (We shall not use the W.B.-word here ;))

As an alternative to wallowing in self-depreciation and creative despair, I decided to not let a perfectly fine Monday go to waste and spent some one-on-one time with my dear old excel spreadsheet instead....

And a few hours later I'm not only basking in the fuzzy glow of instant gratification and self-validation as I marvel at my wondrous outlining skills, but also the worry-free guaranty of definitely hitting the projected 80k word count for this novel. So far I have only applied this particular outlining technique to part 2 of EMPIRE OF LIGHT, mainly because I wanted to get on with the story and no spend too much time recapping the outline of scenes already done, but part 1 and 3 are soon to be added to this.

Either way, right now my monstrous outline spreadsheet consists of about seven million columns (almost ;)) such as chapter number, PoV, plot, supporting cast, setting, time of day, worldbuilding, backstory and key lines (oh and I have enough conflict going on to warrant a special column just for all the shit that's blowing up in this novel - physically and emotionally that is). So right now, I've learned three interesting things:

1.) Most of my plot happens at night. Kind of ironic if the title is EMPIRE OF LIGHT, isn't it? Well, it fits my purposes.
2.) Why hello there, surprise supporting character! I don't believe I've met you yet. So glad you popped in to join the party.
3.) This novel is packed as far as plotlines, charactes, conflict etc. goes. I'd be fucking lost without an outline.

Oh and did I mention that the pat few hours of Spreadsheet Extravaganza have totally cured me from the curse of Writer's Block (excuse my French)?

Yeah, outlining is just that awesome :p

And my friend Writing Demons along with some other writer friends of mine who abhor outlines were probably sent into fits of acute apoplexy reading this. Sorry guys, I know this isn't for everyone, but for me it's a thing of genius!

Credits also go to fellow outline-nazi (and currently awful tease) parametric ;)

Monday Musings about Self-Imposed Deadlines, Titles, Edits and Aweseome Things Writer Friends Say

2010-04-26T13:40:00.000-07:00

Monday Musings come to you in form of a list. Because I'm under-caffeinated and as of yet un-showered (no I don't stink and no, I'm not looking like I've butchered something anymore as I did after yesterday's Red Paint Extravaganza at the German Ex-Pat House). Anyway, without further ado, some things that are on my mind today.

1.) First off, I want to thank everyone for their hand-holding efforts and great suggestions as I've finally decided on the title EMPIRE OF LIGHT for my WIP. You folks from AW are priceless!

2.) The clock's ticking. I've officially thrown myself into the gutter with my friend Writing Demons as we wrestle to finish our respective WIPs by the end of May, which in combination with -

3.) Self-editing and outlining rocks! Yes, it takes time, but it makes your drafts so much tighter, more concise and overall higher in quality, definitely worth it. And -

4.) ohmygodihavewaytoomanybooksandcraptopackandgetmovedtomynewplacebytheendofmay results in -

5.) in which I shall quote Writing Demons telling me "You're crazy. That's probably why your writing is so good. You're fucking crazy." Um, yes, I do love the fountain of love and encouragement that are my writer friends ;)

Anyway, off I am to shower (I know, I know), pack more boxes (I'm getting a fucking Kindle, folks.) and write more (Now I'm wondering whether the red paint that I used to paint my living room yesterday is in fact the blood and sweat that went into this novel...)

Oh and I hope you like my new theme. I heart the dystopian.

Anyway, Dystophil out.

Return to the Land of Title Woes.

2010-04-23T17:49:00.000-07:00

This seriously feel like the Neverending Story of Title Woes...

So, I've recently come up with a new title for my current WIP, deciding to re-name it THE PRODIGALS and I like it...

But fact is that this WIP has been unofficially sticking around under the working title LIGHT for the four years that I've been working on it, so I'm having considerable issues adapting to the new one. Anyway, now that I'm actually pondering the possibility of a sequel to this with the tentative title KING OF COWARDS, I'm more tending towards sticking with my initial idea and merely naming this novel EMPIRE OF LIGHT.

Just worried that it's a little bit too generic/unimaginative, but we're talking dystopian fantasy here where the setting and worldbuilding are actually quite essential to the story...

But yeah, naming the first book EMPIRE OF LIGHT and the sequel KING OF COWARDS would establish a cool title pattern. Any thoughts? Or am I confusing everyone else along with myself?

When a book has you yelling at it - In the Good Way

2010-04-22T17:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, to most of you it shouldn't be news that I'm a huge fan of Jim Butcher's THE DRESDEN FILES series. But the latest installment CHANGES definitely did well by its name: Not only did it top off the rest of the series as far as sheer badassery and action-driven plot is concerned (oh and the fact that with book 12 Jim Butcher seems to have broken away from his two-word-titles), but overall the series has taken a much darker turn - of which I wholeheartedly approve!

But I'm digressing, because no, I don't want to write a review of this book, others already have and they probably did a much better job at it than I ever could. And YES, the cliffhanger-ending was the reason that I was yelling at the book loudly enough to concern my neighbors (Thank you for your concern, Tim, but I am quite alright other than wanting the next book NOW!).

Anyway, reading the DRESDEN FILES and CHANGES in particular from a writer's point of view, I couldn't help but wonder at what makes this series into what it is and why even after 12 books we're not only not getting tired of it yet, but it keeps getting better and better. And among other things that put this series ahead of many others in urban fantasy in particular, there's one in particular:

The Big Picture Idea: Frankly, back when I started STORM FRONT, the first book in the series, I thought Okay, yeah, I like Harry, love his sarcasm, like the whole contemporary wizard idea", but it didn't blow me away. It was only as I kept going and got to the end of book three GRAVE PERIL that I found myself utterly hooked. Why? Because unlike many other urban fantasy series that I've read, THE DRESDEN FILES does not stay sectioned off in single "case file" books, but there is a bigger picture and I'm not just talking about an overall plot, but moreover about an overall plot that keeps expanding with every book adding to it. While some plot threads get resolved, there is always more to it, last but not least a huge, perpetually growing character cast.

The way supporting characters and plotlines not only recur, but grow and change on their own accounts is in my opinion one of THE DRESDEN FILES' largest assets. And this starts with seemingly minor characters like Harry's cat Mister or his dog Mouse (How awesome was Mouse in CHANGES? Loved it!) and certain quirky things like the Blue Beetle or Bob that give the books their own touch and set them apart from the rest. At the bottom line there is a lot of detail and last but not least a truckload of snark in THE DRESDEN FILES that makes me as a reader really care, because nothing is static and things keep on moving and changing around, which the result that you can't put the book away until its done, only to then resort to clamoring for the next installment.

I know I have been far from the only person yelling about CHANGES and we all get the gist that something big is going to come. Or bigger that is, but unlike a lot of other series, nothing in THE DRESDEN FILES comes without a price, so I for one am really stoked about how this is going to pan out for Harry Dresden and the gang. Definitely looking forward for more fast-paced badassery of the snarky kind!

Identity Crisis Revisited - Writing In Your Second Language.

2010-04-07T18:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I'm looking at my writing and I just can't help but wonder, why the hell I'm doing this. Not that having been obsessed with one and the same project for close to four years isn't pathetic enough, but no, no. I also am drudging my way through drafts and drafts in a language that I haven't grown up with. Yes, I think - or maybe I'm just delusional or prone to perk under the goodwill and praise of others - that I'm mostly doing an acceptable, occasionally even good job at it, but the question as to why I'm writing in English and not in German, which really should be easier for me, remains.

So why?

Something that my mother mentioned to me the other day was "if you ever get published, I won't be able to read your book." I replied that that's what foreign rights are for and if need be I could even translate my writing, never mind that I've tried to summarize LIGHT in German once and utterly failed. But still, technically I could do it. I probably won't though, which has more to do with me refusing friends and family to read anything I'm writing before it's absolutely polished, but still, the possibility is there.

And yet, I've decided to write in English and even though I'm sometimes doubting my own rationality in this, the easiest argument to explain why I'm doing this is probably because most of the fantasy and science fiction that I've been reading was stuff orginally written in English and so I'm just conditioned to English SFF.

But that still isn't quite it. Maybe it has to do with me emigrating and becoming increasingly Americanized, but there is the point when you get distanced enough from the language you have called your "native language" for your entire life, that you even start to think and to dream in this new language. For me it's the same way with writing. I think in English, thus I write in English. To write in anything but English by now sounds abstract or even absurd to me, because there are things that I wouldn't even know how to do in any other language. Take Damian's voice for example. It's so infused with English slang and diction that I can't even begin to try and translate it into German. Sure, I'd get the gist of it eventually, but it still would be hard and take a while.

The same thing applies whenever I go "home" to Germany, which by now has become this country that in a way will always be my home and yet isn't anymore. Just as the first novella that I've ever written was naturally in German, but now I couldn't really go back to completely writing in German. That said, my new WIP, which I'll launch once this draft of LIGHT is done - if it doesn't kill me before - will definitely have some German influences. Which maybe has to do with the fact that lately I've read some good German books that inspired me in a way.

I'm sure that's not the first nor the last of my countless rambles about my identity crisis that is both torn between the U.S. and Germany in real as well as in my writing life. We'll see where it leads and in the end I can only hope that I'm not doing a too atrocious job at hacking myself through this novel without sounding pretentious, or worse, pathetic in a language that isn't mine and yet is. Anyone else lost, but me? :p

Favorite Lines, or Why this Draft is Full of Win

2010-03-07T20:30:00.000-08:00

Yes, so far this draft of LIGHT is still whispering sweet (if occasionally violent) nothings to me and someone recently asked me what my favorite line so far was. So, here's the list:

I'm sure it's pretty unanimous that the top three lines go to Damian:

1.) Great, now I’m getting checked out by the fucking Prince who’s mysteriously risen from the fucking dead.

2.) Just in case it's slipped past you, but homophobia's fucking dead.

3.) Well, I always wanted to go out with "Fuck You", but whatever.

And here's to Ares' issues:

1.) “So what? You just want me to walk away and let her fuck you?”

“Yes. That is exactly what I want you to do,” I said acidly and after a second I added. “Please.”

2.) "You seemed rather preoccupied with dying at the time, if I remember correctly.” (Technically this one's Orion's, but anyway.)

3.) "I don't suppose my prepossessing personality will keep you from it."

Favorite chapter so far? Chapter 7, which is very accurately titled Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang and full of Raeyn & Damian awesomeness. Probably the one I've had the most fun with so far, especially with passages like this:

“I’m here because I need some information.”
“And you are doing a horrible job at that, don’t you think, darling?” a familiar voice asked, with a mocking lilt to it. Before I even recognized the black trenchcoat and gray fedora, Raeyn scooted onto a stool next to me, slipping an arm around my shoulder, cool fingers brushing against the nape of my neck.
Definitely getting way too close, way too fast. I stiffened, wanted to pull away and punch him in the face.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Oh is that how you greet me nowadays? You wound me, darling.” Raeyn’s expression shifted into something like disappointment. I’d almost have bought it myself.
Coras’ face twisted in disgust and he looked away, suddenly very busy with the dirty dishwater that filled the sink behind the bar. Raeyn used that moment to lean forward, towards me, his lips suddenly way closer to my ear than I’d ever want them to be. I flinched when they actually brushed against my neck.
What. The. Fuck.
“Listen. Watch. All over the place. Play along or you’re dead,” he whispered and abruptly had all of my attention. As if on command, I caught a glimpse of a red coat in the corner of my eye that I was pretty damn sure hadn’t been there a second ago. One Redcoat was leaning by the door, casually smoking a cigarette, another one was waiting outside. Only now I recognized that some of the low lives in the bar crowd that I’d thought I’d known before, I did know, but not from the bar scene. Ah, fuck.
“Shit.”
“Indeed,” Raeyn’s voice was a low purr. He rested his head on my shoulder, his right hand trailed across my chest in a lazy, languid motion while his arm around my shoulder drew me close. And he kissed me. Mouth and lips and tongue and all. He tasted minty.
Bloody fucking Gods.
I jerked back.
“What the fuck--?”
He didn’t let go, muzzled my neck instead, his hand casually stroking my thigh.
“Trust me, I like it as little as you do,” he hissed, “Ease up a little, would you? Unless you prefer to keep up your prudishness and let it get you killed. Now come with me.” His voice got a little louder and twice as insinuating with that. He’d wanted Coras to hear the end and lazily curled his hand around my belt buckle, dragged me with him as he slid off the chair.
I swallowed a curse. Then went after him, even managed to slide an arm around his waist. It creeped the fuck out of me. Even Ares knew I didn’t do public touchy-feely, least of all with a batshit crazy Prince. But I also didn’t want to die. So there.

Least favorite chapter? Along with some of the Ares stuff that needs serious polishing, probably the opening chapter, simply because I have rewritten it. so. many. times. Seriously, I'm getting sick of it.

Anyway, I'm only a little over one fourth into this draft and better stuff is yet to come and I intend to have a lot more fun with this one.

Also, I wanted to thank my friends Becca and Caitlin for giving me this award:

You both rock and thank you :D

P.S.: The "fake" cover for LIGHT is by the fabulous Gretchen McNeil (Thanks, Blond, you rock :D) Now I just need to learn the first thing about making videos so I can make a book trailer...anyone help me out with this? (I'm an eager little grasshopper ;))

Making it through the list - Books read in 2010 (so far)

2010-03-02T19:16:00.000-08:00

Remember that Read 100 books in 2010 challenge I entered at the beginning of this year? I think so far I'm cruising along quite smoothly given that it's only the beginning of March. Here's what I've read so far (more or less in order):

Richard Morgan - Broken Angels (yay Richard Morgan)
Chris Wooding - Retribution Falls (I'd have utterly loved this if it wasn't such a Firefly rip-off. Still enjoyed it though)
Tanya Huff - Blood Price (and we're in for some light vamp stories. Though some of the characters and the LGBT aspects were entertaining. The tv series is awful btw.)
Tanya Huff - Blood Trail
Tanya Huff - Blood Lines
Tanya Huff - Blood Pact
Tanya Huff - Blood Debt
Tanya Huff - Smoke and Shadows (Some more (very light) LGBT stuff)
Jordan Castillo Price - Psycop (OMG can't believe I'm actually admitting to this, but this was among the worst self-published junk I've ever read and I merely picked it up because of the horrible, horrible blurb...let's just say it made me laugh)
Manna Francis - Mind Fuck (These books - although POD - are the shit. Love her characters, love the psychology. And um, yeah lots of BDSM sex so nothing for the YA audience here.)
Manna Francis - Quid Pro Quo
Manna Francis - Games and Players
Manna Francis - Control
Manna Francis - Quis Custodiet
Jill Myles - Gentelmen Prefer Succubi (No, I usually don't venture into the romance section of B&N, but this was an exception. The belly-button sweat on the cover-model is frankly terrifying, but the books themselves are very entertaining)
Jill Myles - Succubi Like it Hot

And on the more serious/literary side?

Carol Lynn Pearson - Good-bye, I love you. (Wow. This book. Totally captures the "Utah feel" as far as homosexuality is concerned. Even though it was written 25 years ago, the issue is still the same. Sadly. This book made me cry and is the one book that I'm going to give to a lot of my English-speaking LGBT friends. Just make sure you have an hour or so when nobody can see you when you're done reading it. Especially if you're like me and don't cry in front of people...hm, yeah. Wonderfully sad.)
Carol Lynn Pearson - No More Goodbyes. (The collection of personal stories/acquaintances after "Good-bye, I love you" was published. You think this book will make you cry less? Think again. My respect for this particular woman is immense.)

Literature/Fiction

Sholem Aleichem - Tevye the Dairyman (i.e. Fiddler on the Roof - awesome :))
Alexandr Solzhenitsyn - The Gulag Archipelago (Yes, I had to look up how to spell his name. Very dark, depressing Russian literature)
Henrik Ibsen - Four Plays (Love how he's calling himself 'not a feminist')
Voltaire - Candide (And all this in the "best of all possible worlds" loved it. But then I always love satire :))
Sarah Waters - Fingersmith (Hmmm LGBT literature. Love the powerful prose and wonderful story-telling and have the rest of her books on the list)

Anyway that's 22 down, 78 to go if I'm not mistaken? 2010 reading challenge, I've got you by the balls ;)

A Note to Writer Brain

2010-03-01T15:08:00.000-08:00

Dear Writer Brain,

you are awesome and my love for you knows no bounds lately. You are full of awesome productivity, intriguing characters, fast-paced plot and snarky dialogue and even aim to make structural sense as of late.

However, please think of Writer Body who is indeed in need of such mundane things as food and sleep at times. Yes, I know, caffeine and chocolate are wonderful, but at some point those fast-typing hands get really shaky and Writer Body feels herself compelled to go on a violent strike and completely refuses cooperation. And you do remember who has to pay for the internet connection that you love to procrastinate on or the caffeine that keeps you going up into the ungodly hours of the night/day/whatever it is.

The same counts for Student Brain. I know, Student Brain is your unloved, ugly step-sister and should rely on its inherent brilliance alone, but sometimes, just sometimes Student Brain needs some room for things like studying and paper-writing so the Writing Playlist really can't be jamming in the background. I'm sure you'll understand my appeal on good neighborhood, dont' you?

Also, keep the guns unloaded and don't play with them. It makes your roomies nervous.

Thank you for your understanding,

Yours,
Me